Labor education
First time I came to Chaoyang University. I heard about every freshman need to do labor education. I was so confused, because I don’t know what was labor education and what should I did. So I asked my teacher what was labor education. He told me that labor education meant, at school, you need to clean the campus five times a week for two semesters then you can successfully get a university diploma.
Our headmaster believes that if student clean their school they will learn an industrious, thrifty and cooperated in the future. However I don’t agree with these conceptions. It’s ridiculous because cleaning our school is nothing to do with we’ll became an industrious or cooperated people.
Another reason is that we pay a lot of tuitions for school, so I think school can use our money to heir other people. Not only student but also other people would like this decision, because they can get a job and student would have more time to do their own job.
I don’t understand why we need to do labor education, because there is some school’s student doesn’t need to do this job or they just clean their campus once a week. I think that is unfair.
Hi Jason,
回覆刪除Your writing is quite fluent and organized. I'm happy for you although I can still find a few grammatical mistakes and some problems in terms of the command of linking words/phrases.
Please revise the following mistakes:
1.First time I came to Chaoyang University. I heard about every freshman need to do labor education.
用 The first time
第二 hear + that子句 或 hear about + N.
2.I was so confused, because I don’t know what was labor education and what should I did.
看一下what should I did有什麼問題
3. He told me that labor education meant, at school, you need to clean the campus five times a week for two semesters then you can successfully get a university diploma.
你的linking word--then要用 so that才對
4. Our headmaster believes that if student clean their school they will learn an industrious, thrifty and cooperated in the future.
學生是可數名詞所以用students
另外我明白"learn an industrious, thrifty and cooperated"的意思，但是learn要加名詞, 所以industrious, thrifty跟cooperated要全改成名詞
5. However I don’t agree with these conceptions.
寫得好, 但是However最好加逗號
6. It’s ridiculous because cleaning our school is nothing to do with we’ll became an industrious or cooperated people.
第一把is nothing to do改成 has nothing to do
第二with 後要加名詞，所以你後面修改
7. Another reason is that we pay a lot of tuitions for school, so I think school can use our money to heir other people.
你的another reason是什麼另一個原因?跟上文有銜接嗎?跳太快了或沒說清楚?
第二heir拼錯
8.Not only student but also other people would like this decision, because they can get a job and student would have more time to do their own job.
再次提醒: 可數名詞不能單用student或desk這種形式出現
9. I don’t understand why we need to do labor education, because there is some school’s student doesn’t need to do this job or they just clean their campus once a week.
這裡的there is some school's student doesn't need to do...的文法有許多錯誤，試著找找看能不能發現自己的問題
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回覆刪除Labor education
回覆刪除The first time I came to Chaoyang University. I heard that every freshman needs to do labor education. I was so confused, because I don’t know what was labor education and what should I do. So I asked my teacher what was labor education. He told me that labor education meant, at school, you need to clean the campus five times a week for two semesters so that you can successfully get a university diploma.
Our headmaster believes that if students clean their school they will learn a diligence, thrift and cooperation in the future. However, I don’t agree with these conceptions. It’s ridiculous because cleaning our school has nothing to do with becoming an industrious or cooperated people.
Another reason is that we pay a lot of tuitions for school, so I think school can use our money to hire other people. Not only student but also other people would like this decision, because they can get a job and students would have more time to do their own job.
I don’t understand why we need to do labor education, because some school’s student doesn’t need to do this job or they just clean their campus once a week. I think that is unfair.